Monday, August 22, 2011

An update and a recap..

I apologize for not updating sooner..  I've been all over the tri-state area looking for them. Not surprisingly,  I turned up nothing.  I didn't bother with a police report because they would have just said they cant do anything being as she left of her own free will.  I checked her credit card,  no purchases made on it.  Also checked the cellphone bill,  no calls placed.  I cracked her password for her Android Market account and attempted to push-install one of those 'find my phone' apps to her phone, but apparently she has it off..

I'm a bit annoyed by her sudden departure honestly.  I can understand her wanting to protect the kid...but what was there to protect her from?  Other than a few odd occurrences we've had around here that could be explained by normal means,  honestly nothing BAD has happened to us.  It seems like everyone 'He' goes after saw him as a kid.  Well I don't remember any tall suited man playing with me in the woods,  and i'm pretty sure she would have brought it up in one of the NUMEROUS arguments we had on the subject.  Christ.. Its not like i'd let anything happen to her if shit was hitting the fan anyway.  That woman KNOWS I would die for either of them before I let someone harm a hair on their heads...  I swear though,  if anything happens to either of them while they are off running around..god and every other deity out there help whomever did it if I get my hands on them..

What the hell is she going to do out there on her own?  With no money?  None of her family or friends that I could get a hold of down in Florida OR in Canada have seen her, so she isn't bumming a couch off them or anything.  I considered calling kiddo's birth-father,  but I reconsidered.  Probably would be pretty bad idea to call and say 'oh hey have you seen them?'.  Heh..

*sighs*  Well,  on another note.  I saw the video that Cairo posted.  I guess he was telling the truth after all about just trying to get some information..but i'm still going to be keeping an eye on him.  He's been contacting me by a means I wont state since he's got some heat after him...but he sends me a picture now and then with a newspaper showing where he's at.  I guess it is meant to honor his word of keeping me posted as to where he is at.  He's a good guy... I really hope all that other shit was just a temporary thing.

Now on to the recap portion of this post.  I've received a number of messages asking me what set Xzes off.  I realize now that some people don't follow the twitter,  so I went back and took some screen shots of the posts which lead up to the video that set her off.
July 24th - Approx 11:00pm

July 24th - Approx 11:01pm

July 25th - Approx 2:55am
I left the house immediately after posting this.

July 25th - Approx 4:30pm

I might go silent again for awhile if I head back out on the road looking for them,  but I will attempt to update when I can.


Saturday, July 30, 2011

Another roadblock..


I swear I looked at these pictures when I took them..

They were clear as day...yet now you can barely make them out..   I'm going to post them anyway on the off chance that.. Shit,  I don't even know anymore.  I'm sure she doesn't want to be found,  and i'm relatively sure she's safe.  Nothing happened around here yet other than that psuedo break-in months ago.  Since I changed the locks there hasn't been any problems.  I just wish she would get a hold of me,  just talk to me..

*sighs*  Sorry for the woe is me shit there.  Anyway,  here are the pictures.  If, on the off chance you see her, please don't approach her yourself as she'll likely just freak out and bolt.  Just send me a message or something and let me know where you saw her.  I appreciate it.


P.S.  There is also some video footage I shot on the same day out as the photos, but it is even MORE fucked up than those are...going to try and clean it up a bit and see if any of it is salvageable.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

In search of...

I woke up early this afternoon... They were both already gone.  I tried to track them down,  looked all over town but I know that was a futile effort.  She wouldn't stay around here,  especially if she didn't feel safe.  What worries me is what she was going on about in that post.  She always mentioned how she moved around a lot but never really got into the reasoning why.  What the hell weren't you telling me Xzes?!  What did you know that you didn't confide in me about??

As for Dark Journal/Forgotten Throne....  Keep playing your little games.  I'm definitely not in the proper mindset right now that i'd really advise fucking around with me.

I'll try to post a picture later on of Xzes so that if anyone see's her they can contact me and I can have a rough idea of where she is..


Monday, July 25, 2011

I told you to leave it alone...

I noticed Heller leave the house in a hurry last night. I watched his video and read his messages to you all. Did you know if I hadn't been partly awake I wouldn't have had any idea where he went or why he left? Lucky for me he didn't lock up his computer. I blame you all for him running around like this... Now I have to start moving all over again, to think I finally thought it was going to be fine once I left all the other times... Sorry Heller, I will admit you are right about one thing. It's not the more you know about him, it's the more WHO know about him...

It was easier before, people were not missing left and right. He couldn't do the amount of damage he does now... I blame the fucking internet, if people would have just kept him off of it... it wouldn't be this bad.... But I am side tracking. This is all your fault, every one of you I lay blame for him becoming like this... I have to finish packing my daughters clothes now, she is going to miss Heller, our dog, and all her stuff. However I will not have him come after her, I will save her before Heller attracts more attention to our home.

Heller... I love you but I am sorry I can not go through this again...

Tuesday, June 7, 2011


Well, I did say that I would elaborate tonight,  so here I go.

Last night, around 2am,  I took our dog for his last walk of the night.  Generally pretty uneventful.  We walk, he does his business, we walk a bit more and head home.  Our neighborhood is pretty set back in the woods so its pretty peaceful.  No connecting roads for there to be a bunch of traffic, one road in one road out.  Last night...was anything but our normal walk.  I leashed him up, grabbed my light, and we headed out.  Right off the bat I noticed he was a little antsy.  I thought it was because he had to take a leak,  but he kept pulling me back away from the woods.  He usually loves to sniff around over there and hunt rabbits,  so the fact that he was pulling me AWAY from there was a bit confusing.  I didn't feel like arguing with him, so we took a different route than usual.  Thats when I noticed the next thing that was out of place.  It was dead silent.  There's always, ALWAYS, another dog barking, or some birds rustling around in the trees or something.  Some sort of noise.  The only thing I heard was a slight breeze.  This raised the hairs on my neck something fierce.  I suddenly wished I had a little more than my work stanley knife in my pocket.  I told myself I was being stupid and pushed my nervousness aside, but quickened my step a bit to get back to the house.  Something about a locked door makes everything feel better eh?  Even though we were taking a different route, we had to go back past that spot in the woods.  The pup didn't like this much at all.  Just as we were walking by he turned, stopped and posted up (anyone who has had a pitbull knows what they look like when they're in their ready stance).  He began this low growl that I haven't ever heard him use.  He sounded afraid.  Suddenly,  there was this sound from the woods.  I swear to god it sounded like these...I don't know... guttural and animalistic roars.  It sounded like multiple pitches mixed together but from the direction and the consistency.  I really do think whatever it was,  it was one creature.  I also heard the screaming of rabbits dying.  Yes, plural.  There had to be a couple from what I heard. That means whatever it was gathered up a few rabbits and was killing them all at once.  I know a lot about local wildlife, and I have never heard of anything that makes a noise like that,  especially one that hunts down multiple prey and keeps them alive to kill all at once...  I grabbed the leash tight and we both booked it home like our asses were on fire.  I slammed the door shut and locked it up.  Xzes asked me what was wrong.  I just told her we ran across a skunk and ran so we wouldn't get sprayed. 

...I know what it probably was,  but honestly I don't want to say it.


I'll post more when I figure this all out.


Saturday, May 28, 2011

Taking the good with the bad

Well apparently I get to mention some good news for once.  We have finally gotten news that M is still alive and apparently in relatively good shape.  A girl(?) named 'Blondie' found him passed out in a library and took him to get patched up.  She then proceeded to take him back to her place for a little additional recovery time.  I personally think that, in his case at least, staying there this long is a bad idea.... but,  maybe thats what he needs.  A little bit of time in a friendly place to get patched up.  Kids been running longer than anyone.  He deserves a rest..  Hopefully he can actually get one this time.

Last I saw,  Zeke was still in Maryland.  Celeste is apparently pretty banged up.  She seems like a tough girl though...but hard headed as hell.  I know Wren isn't the most trustworthy guy in the world,  but if Zeke is willing to put his faith in him thats good enough for me.  I guess she cant see that for herself however.

Jake is still missing... however he, or someone using his name,  has been posting on his twitter.  For Josh's sake I really hope its Jake and not someone trying to lure him in.  He seems a bit desperate at this point, and honestly I don't know if Josh really knows what he's in the middle of.  Flying blind in shit like this can be hazardous to your health, thats for damn sure..  I'll be honest... I feel quite badly about not going to look for Jake myself.  He and I conversed quite a bit and I tried to give him the best advice I could...but there's only so much someone can do when there's this much distance in between them.  All I can do right now is hope for the best.

Cairo is back.  Since he was released from custody he has put out a new compilation.  I still don't know what to make of the whole ordeal surrounding him.  On one hand,  I WANT to trust the guy.  I really do.  But trust is a valuable commodity in this little community of ours,  and the value of his has been shaken a bit.  I'm going to continue to reserve judgement on him till a later date.

Jesus Christ,  TJ and Amy stepped straight into the fucking frying pan didn't they?  As I sat down to write this, I was alerted that TJ was attacked tonight.  Something jumped her in the parking lot and puked some black shit into her mouth.  God knows what the hell that is!  Poor girl might have GhonnaSyphaHerpaAidsaTitus now or something.  Her knife is missing so it seems she might have stuck whatever the fuck it was that got her though...  Tall, pale and fashionable sure is rounding up an impressive stable of cohorts lately isn't he?  Those girls need to get out of there as soon as possible.  Even if they just start driving in some arbitrary direction.

Those are all the updates I can honestly think of right now for everyone else involved..  I guess I will move on to whats been going on with me.  Nothing too exciting honestly,  and i'm thankful of that.  However, my nerves and paranoia have been getting the best of me from time to time.  We had a really nasty fog bank roll through a few nights ago and  I swear I saw things moving in the fog as I drove down the back roads.  I stopped once or twice to investigate but there was nothing there.  I need to start calming down and just taking a deep breath from time to time.

Now that I think about it,  there WAS one slightly odd occurrence lately.  I had gone to Walmart late one night (it seems all late night trips end up at Walmart...) earlier this week.  It was somewhere around 2:30 or 3:00am.  As I was leaving the store and walking out to the car,  a strange looking man got out of a new looking F150 and began to approach me.  He walked up and said excuse me,  to which I asked him what he needed.  He asked if I lived in the area.  I used my stock response of 'somewhat' (even though I am only about 10 minutes away from said Walmart) which I always say when odd people ask me if I live here.  I looked him over,  he looked dirty and disheveled.  His clothes were covered in paint and dirt, possibly wood dust.  He proceeded to tell me that he was from West Chester PA and was traveling to Cape May NJ.  He said his truck was almost out of gas, and that none of the gas stations around would take his credit card number without the card available.  This red flagged to me, why would he know his card number if he didn't have his card?  I know I sure as hell don't know my numbers by heart.  At the time I chalked it up as a junkie trying to scam some cash for crack or some cans of spray paint...but something about him didn't set right with me.  The way he just sorta paused and looked me over, sizing me up.  I know he didn't plan on jumping me because I was quite a bit bigger than him and there were lots of people outside (it was apparently break time).  Again,  like I said I HAVE been letting my nerves get the best of me but I swear I got a chill up my spine like this guy knew who I was and was just probing me for something.  After I apologized and told him I couldn't help him out due to lack of cash myself,  I jumped in my car and hauled ass out of t he parking lot before he could get rolling.  I also made sure to take a mildly convoluted way home.  That creepy feeling I got just wouldn't let go and I did NOT want him to be following me home.

Other than that...Like I said, everything has been quite calm.  Well....other than the  plague of stink bugs.. *laughs*  But thats a story for another night.

Until next time...   -Hellershanks

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Insomnia and chest colds...

Seems like I only get around to making these posts when I am awake at the ungodly hours of the night...  Oh well,  might as well make the best of it.  As far as all the others...well,  save for Cairo's disappearance and Mr Benefactor being so kind as to keep his twitter warm in his absence,  everything seems oddly quiet again.  Another lull before the storm perhaps?  For everyones sake I hope not.

I suppose I haven't really discussed myself much.  Well,  I am currently fighting off a decent head/chest cold.  Gotta love emm.  The kind that have you hacking so hard you aren't sure if you are going to lose a lung,  the lining of your throat,  or your lunch first.  Before you say it,  nah.. This is normal for me.  I've always been a little on the sickly side.  I grew up with some nasty allergies and a rough case of asthma which left my immune system a little something to be desired.  But ehh,  you get used to it after awhile (

As far as the rest of my history I guess I can run down any other oddities in my life.  I've never seen tall slim and faceless myself,  but I've always felt like those things that went bump in the night.. the ones your parents told you were just stories, figments of your imagination... had a bit more truth to them than they wanted to admit.  That maybe they told us they weren't real to put THEMSELVES at ease when they couldn't figure out what that loud noise was out in the other room in the middle of the night.  I've always been one to see those little things move out of the corner of my eye.  The shapes and the shadows.   The noises and, dare say, the voices.  Call me crazy,  but I pay attention.  I'd rather be crazy, alive and alert than wind up sane, ignorant and dead.

One thing I never could figure out were the marks.  All my life I would wake up with scratches on my body.  I'm not talking little ones,  i'm talking those long deep scratches that scab up.  Lots of them.  In places I couldn't reach if I tried.  Now, some might say "oh you just did that to yourself while you were asleep rolling around."...heh...well,  sadly that answer was never much comfort to me.  Ya see, ever since I was 5,  I compulsively chewed my nails down to the stumps.  I don't have enough of a nail to pick up a coin let alone scratch myself.  I always laughed it off,  called it a 'perverted ghost'.   Joked that I hoped it was at least a cute chick ghost.  But in the back of my head I always wondered what the hell did it but was afraid to actually know.

Fast forward to current day.  I now live in a nice little two bedroom double-wide (and before I start getting the trailer knocks,  its damn near a house thank you very much.) with my gal Xzes and our kiddo (who shall remain unnamed for obvious reasons).   I am the oldest,  just turned 27 (Ironically enough Jake and I share the same birthday,  but I still have years on the kid.).  Xzes follows at 24 and the kiddo is...well lets just say kindergarden aged.  As you can tell,  i'm a bit protective when it comes to information about her.  I know,  that might seem silly when I am as involved in this mess as I am.  But I don't fully believe the whole "the more you know the more likely you are HE will come after you." thing.  The tulpa idea...maybe.   But that?  It just doesn't make sense to me.  How the hell would he have gone after all those kids then?  It just doesn't pan out no matter how many ways I look at it.  Anyway,  back to the topic at hand.  Us three live in this shack with our pup Cy,  a three year old Pitt mix.   He's a big ole lunkhead,  but he's loyal,  loud,  and all muscle.  He freaks out when a skunk walks by outside at night so I feel pretty secure with him acting as an alert system.  He HAS been acting on point lately,  staring off into the distance - mainly at the woods - when we go outside.  I try not to read much into that however as its spring and the woods here are absolutely packed with deer, skunks, rats, feral cats, wild dogs, raccoons, opossums, and all other manner of north-eastern wild animal you can think of.

Anyhow.. I suppose thats enough of an update as it were for now.  I really AM going to try and get that intro video up soon so whoever reads this can put a face to the text.  Kinda makes me feel like i'm being a bit more supportive for everyone else too,  not just hiding behind words.



Sunday, March 27, 2011

Finally getting around to it..

Well,  its been awhile since I made the first post on this blog.   I figure its about damn time I make one that is actually on-topic!

Recently,  I have been able to have conversations with some of the parties concerned.  Most notable, Jake, Doc Cairo and Zeke Strahm.  Also, I have been in contact with a few other people such as The HYBRID's and Noah Maxwell,  though to much less of a degree.  There are many others as well that I have kept an eye on,  but I have refrained from attempting direct contact at the present as I feel it may be detrimental to either their, or my, personal safety.

I worry about Jake most of all out of everyone I have been keeping an eye on.   I see the things going on around him slowly eating away at his mental well being.  This could potentially be more dangerous for him than anything else,  but I will touch on that further into this posting.  I have personally conversed with him on numerous occasions,  attempting to help him get his head on straight despite the madness of everything going on around him.  I feel as if Mark being killed and Noreen's subsequent suicide may have nearly pushed him over the edge.  Thankfully Josh and Matt seem to be getting him up and around again.  Things are definitely too close to him and I agree with Cairo's statement that they should run - even though I know they are unable.  All I can do is keep watching them and hope that my words of encouragement keeps Jake in the proper mindset to be sharp and on his toes.  Very little could be more dangerous in his situation than letting ones guard  down.

Zeke is a rare case indeed.  Someone with the balls to rail against this thing and fight back?  Now thats a guy to admire.  My only issue is that he seems to be getting so clouded in figuring it all out and getting his revenge that he's becoming a little lax on watching his back.  Just recently while scoping out Damien's old house he saw something outside peering in at him.  I commented that I thought it might be the dark haired girl that he had seen earlier in town watching him.  If a single young girl can tail him without him realizing,  who else could be on his ass?  I informed him that I felt he needs to sharpen back up and get those cop senses going so that some crazed cultist fuck with a can't pop out from behind a door and end his journey prematurely.  Beyond that,  he continues to amaze me with finding lead after lead.  I just hope this isn't a breadcrumb trail left to lead him to... eh... I don't even want to think about it really.  If there's anyone I would want to watch my back though,  its him.  He and I finally got to talk directly during that interesting gathering a few days ago.  It seems that he enjoyed having a moment to slow down and simply be able to talk over the shit going on with another person.  I was glad to be able to provide at least that for him.

Doc Cairo and I converse on an on and off basis using any number of methods.  Notably twitter and blogger. However,  a few days ago during the massive gathering in the Angora chat,  he and I got to talk directly,   albeit for only a few moments.  During the conversation,  we ended up treading onto a theory I have had for quite some time since I began to take a notice in what was going on.  I derived it from things I had heard from the quintessential runner M (whom I hope is still out there running,  despite potential evidence otherwise with his last official update at 3:21pm - December 23rd 2010..), along with others.  It theorize that "He" cant just walk up and take whomever he pleases.  Sure,  his proxies have free reign,  but for "him" to actually be able to harm you?  Well.. I think you have to snap.  I think mentally you have to be broken,  or at least driven to the point you fully give up.  Think about it.  M talked about the young girl he met at the cabin.  Plagued by "Him" for weeks,  possibly months,  but never taken till she finally couldn't handle it anymore.  The same with poor Elizabeth.  She gave up and went down to him.  I can think of numerous other people taken in the same manner.  Noah's cousin Milo,  M's brother, and countless others.  All driven to the brink of madness,  or at least to the point where they finally said the hell with it.  Maybe "He's" not all powerful.  Maybe there actually IS a trick to this.  However,  in Mark's case,  it seems if "He" cant get to you when "He" wishes,  a proxy is more than capable of handling that task.  Cairo seemed intrigued by this theory,  and I personally feel it holds weight.  Sadly,  quite soon after finishing that part of the conversation,  Doc had more pressing matters to attend to.   However I am confident that he and I will get to speak about other possibilities down the road.  Assuming he can stay a step ahead of his Benefactor.

Within a few days I expect to have a video up on my Youtube channel basically just to introduce myself a bit better.  I may end up flip-flopping between here and there as far as doing my posts,  mainly because I have my days where I am incapable of concentrating long enough to type up a wall of text.  Whenever that goes up,  I will make sure to link it here.

Till next time..

                                                                                         -- Hellershanks

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Current events

Sad to say the only reason I am using the blog to say this (and finally break it in to boot),  is that what I wanted to say was just too damned long for Twitter.

Oh well,  on with it I suppose.

I don't wish to read too much into this..  However I DO wish to put it out there as my memory is quite frankly shit and things such as these are good to remember.

Some of you who read this may have already met my girlfriend Xzes (Obvious alias is obvious?).   She came out to my place of work Friday night (2/18/11 for records sake) to pick me up after my shift.   We then proceeded to go out for a few hours before returning home.  That is when we noticed something odd.  She had locked both the locks on our front door when she left,  the bottom standard exterior keyed knob lock,  and the upper deadbolt.  However,  when we returned home,  the upper lock was now unlocked.   She found this quite disturbing,  so I gathered my bat which I keep next to my computer and close to the door and I proceeded to check the house for intruders.  Both bathrooms, our room, the laundry room and the child's room (she was with a relative for the night).  Nothing was out of place,  and the dog seemed quite calm and unaffected.   Calming down a bit thinking she had simply left the door unlocked,  Xzes went to open the window to fetch a soda (Winter in Jersey makes the outdoors a natural storage area for drinks).  She then became even more unnerved when she discovered that the window too was unlocked.  That for sure we both knew was locked all day.  We searched the entire house once again to see if anything seemed out of place or missing.  Jewelry, electronics, everything was accounted for.  Xzes hasn't been able to sleep since.  Like I said,  i'm not going to jump to conclusions but it does seem that someone was in our house and that someone was able to calm our Pittbull down enough that he or she didn't get torn into.

Well,  thats about all I had to report.  If anything else out of the ordinary comes to pass, i'll likely mention it on here.  Also,  I will attempt to start using this blog for its ACTUAL purpose as well.

                                                                                                      -- Hellershanks