Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Insomnia and chest colds...

Seems like I only get around to making these posts when I am awake at the ungodly hours of the night...  Oh well,  might as well make the best of it.  As far as all the others...well,  save for Cairo's disappearance and Mr Benefactor being so kind as to keep his twitter warm in his absence,  everything seems oddly quiet again.  Another lull before the storm perhaps?  For everyones sake I hope not.

I suppose I haven't really discussed myself much.  Well,  I am currently fighting off a decent head/chest cold.  Gotta love emm.  The kind that have you hacking so hard you aren't sure if you are going to lose a lung,  the lining of your throat,  or your lunch first.  Before you say it,  nah.. This is normal for me.  I've always been a little on the sickly side.  I grew up with some nasty allergies and a rough case of asthma which left my immune system a little something to be desired.  But ehh,  you get used to it after awhile (

As far as the rest of my history I guess I can run down any other oddities in my life.  I've never seen tall slim and faceless myself,  but I've always felt like those things that went bump in the night.. the ones your parents told you were just stories, figments of your imagination... had a bit more truth to them than they wanted to admit.  That maybe they told us they weren't real to put THEMSELVES at ease when they couldn't figure out what that loud noise was out in the other room in the middle of the night.  I've always been one to see those little things move out of the corner of my eye.  The shapes and the shadows.   The noises and, dare say, the voices.  Call me crazy,  but I pay attention.  I'd rather be crazy, alive and alert than wind up sane, ignorant and dead.

One thing I never could figure out were the marks.  All my life I would wake up with scratches on my body.  I'm not talking little ones,  i'm talking those long deep scratches that scab up.  Lots of them.  In places I couldn't reach if I tried.  Now, some might say "oh you just did that to yourself while you were asleep rolling around."...heh...well,  sadly that answer was never much comfort to me.  Ya see, ever since I was 5,  I compulsively chewed my nails down to the stumps.  I don't have enough of a nail to pick up a coin let alone scratch myself.  I always laughed it off,  called it a 'perverted ghost'.   Joked that I hoped it was at least a cute chick ghost.  But in the back of my head I always wondered what the hell did it but was afraid to actually know.

Fast forward to current day.  I now live in a nice little two bedroom double-wide (and before I start getting the trailer knocks,  its damn near a house thank you very much.) with my gal Xzes and our kiddo (who shall remain unnamed for obvious reasons).   I am the oldest,  just turned 27 (Ironically enough Jake and I share the same birthday,  but I still have years on the kid.).  Xzes follows at 24 and the kiddo is...well lets just say kindergarden aged.  As you can tell,  i'm a bit protective when it comes to information about her.  I know,  that might seem silly when I am as involved in this mess as I am.  But I don't fully believe the whole "the more you know the more likely you are HE will come after you." thing.  The tulpa idea...maybe.   But that?  It just doesn't make sense to me.  How the hell would he have gone after all those kids then?  It just doesn't pan out no matter how many ways I look at it.  Anyway,  back to the topic at hand.  Us three live in this shack with our pup Cy,  a three year old Pitt mix.   He's a big ole lunkhead,  but he's loyal,  loud,  and all muscle.  He freaks out when a skunk walks by outside at night so I feel pretty secure with him acting as an alert system.  He HAS been acting on point lately,  staring off into the distance - mainly at the woods - when we go outside.  I try not to read much into that however as its spring and the woods here are absolutely packed with deer, skunks, rats, feral cats, wild dogs, raccoons, opossums, and all other manner of north-eastern wild animal you can think of.

Anyhow.. I suppose thats enough of an update as it were for now.  I really AM going to try and get that intro video up soon so whoever reads this can put a face to the text.  Kinda makes me feel like i'm being a bit more supportive for everyone else too,  not just hiding behind words.